busy bean
Aug. 25th, 2025 01:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
not_funwhew so yesterday when we got back from western mass i immediately took a micro nap on the couch, didnt have the energy to post.
western mass? yeah last minute change of plans - alph's sister would have had to drive another hour and a half to our house, so we sort of split the difference and the siblings met up in amherst to catch up. it was really nice, we got mexican at one of the many good hole in the wall joints in the town and then we went to mt sugarloaf's lookout point. it was /right/ before college started so the town was busy but not crazy, mostly taken over with parents and grandparents bringing their freshman in for the first year away from home. there was also a little carnival on the green but none of us were too interested in that.
finally heard back from my prison penpal! there are apparently more issues cropping up with the corrlinks email system. i think it's probable that all these fucked up targeting-blue-state budget cuts may have lead to sysadmins being laid off. so i'm glad i sent her a paper letter to check in. it's cheaper for inmates to use corrlinks than buy a stamp (tho they still pay...) so hearing back on that platform isnt unusual. it doesn't sound like anything is getting uniquely or more dsytopian on the inside. but she did get her website off the ground! it's still a massive WIP and she warned not to try to buy from the shop because it's not at ALL ironed out yet, but check it out. i need to make a little 88x31 button and put it on my site to link to her asap
tired today, sluggish, but that's kinda expected from 3 very busy days. mostly emailing doctors and cleaning up pokemon stuff out of con boxes (since they arent going to worcester pride) and running laundry. the weather is on the verge of rain, so i probably won't get out to the woods today. my acorn squash plants are producing their first squash. excitingggg
wow tho the doctor, doctor Wright, in shirley jackson's the bird nest?? asshole. what an asshole! WHAT an assshole!!! like if The Yellow Wallpaper were written from the POV of the protag's husband, it'd be this guy. jackson is amazing at crafting this distinctly old controlling masculine voice that has decided itself an authority on all subjects. what a gross creep, he sees elizabeth as positive and viviacious and even sexy when she's under hypnosis because she's only SLIGHTLY more outgoing but also VERY people-pleasing and agreeable, never says no. but ohhhhh god forbid her "bad" personality show up, he calls her all kinds of horrible things. and all she's doing is demanding to establish boundries! challenging his theories! laughing!! being, really, kind of the woman her aunt was described as being in her youth. though tempered with a little bit of a childish behavior that a lot of uhm. traumatized people who grow up kind of unevenly due to trauma have. her calling him Dr Wrong got under his skin so much lol especially when she actually got him to call himself that. i can't help but notice that when Elizabeth's boundries aren't respected (ie, forcing hypnosis) and she gets sick after he's like WELL THATS INEVITABLE but if /she/ pushes back on /his/ boundries, lacks respect for him and fails to obey his every command and /he/ gets sick he's like UHMMM ITS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME AVOIDING THE PATIENT ALTHOUGH IM TOTALLY AVOIDING MY PATIENT
also holy hell his description even of his office. he thinks its relaxing and homey. it sound dark, dirty and gross. smell of cigar smoke by his own admission because he encourages male patients to smoke with him to relax and tell their stories. imagine being like 20something mentally ill anxious and you're just forced into this mancave w a stranger who's like SO WHATS YOUR DEAL. this was always going to go badly, jackson makes very clear. but now elizabeth has escaped containment and run away from home :o where will she go what will she do. probably, buy some clothing that isn't picked out by her aunt. that is my guess. a tiny gasp of individuality.
still riding the high of being told i have the best organized pokemon card binder/boxes of all the convention vendors selling them. especially when lots are like, full on shops!!! like brick & mortor stores!! and i didn't even do anything special, i just tried to keep them together by type and ev lines for my /own/ organizational needs. cmon fake geek boys, step up your game. get your types together. lmfao
mirrors for the scooter came, but figure i'll get things dropped off at the post office without them. it's not a very active road and i walked it without mirrors many times. so i really should get to packing stuff for folks.
later
western mass? yeah last minute change of plans - alph's sister would have had to drive another hour and a half to our house, so we sort of split the difference and the siblings met up in amherst to catch up. it was really nice, we got mexican at one of the many good hole in the wall joints in the town and then we went to mt sugarloaf's lookout point. it was /right/ before college started so the town was busy but not crazy, mostly taken over with parents and grandparents bringing their freshman in for the first year away from home. there was also a little carnival on the green but none of us were too interested in that.
finally heard back from my prison penpal! there are apparently more issues cropping up with the corrlinks email system. i think it's probable that all these fucked up targeting-blue-state budget cuts may have lead to sysadmins being laid off. so i'm glad i sent her a paper letter to check in. it's cheaper for inmates to use corrlinks than buy a stamp (tho they still pay...) so hearing back on that platform isnt unusual. it doesn't sound like anything is getting uniquely or more dsytopian on the inside. but she did get her website off the ground! it's still a massive WIP and she warned not to try to buy from the shop because it's not at ALL ironed out yet, but check it out. i need to make a little 88x31 button and put it on my site to link to her asap
tired today, sluggish, but that's kinda expected from 3 very busy days. mostly emailing doctors and cleaning up pokemon stuff out of con boxes (since they arent going to worcester pride) and running laundry. the weather is on the verge of rain, so i probably won't get out to the woods today. my acorn squash plants are producing their first squash. excitingggg
wow tho the doctor, doctor Wright, in shirley jackson's the bird nest?? asshole. what an asshole! WHAT an assshole!!! like if The Yellow Wallpaper were written from the POV of the protag's husband, it'd be this guy. jackson is amazing at crafting this distinctly old controlling masculine voice that has decided itself an authority on all subjects. what a gross creep, he sees elizabeth as positive and viviacious and even sexy when she's under hypnosis because she's only SLIGHTLY more outgoing but also VERY people-pleasing and agreeable, never says no. but ohhhhh god forbid her "bad" personality show up, he calls her all kinds of horrible things. and all she's doing is demanding to establish boundries! challenging his theories! laughing!! being, really, kind of the woman her aunt was described as being in her youth. though tempered with a little bit of a childish behavior that a lot of uhm. traumatized people who grow up kind of unevenly due to trauma have. her calling him Dr Wrong got under his skin so much lol especially when she actually got him to call himself that. i can't help but notice that when Elizabeth's boundries aren't respected (ie, forcing hypnosis) and she gets sick after he's like WELL THATS INEVITABLE but if /she/ pushes back on /his/ boundries, lacks respect for him and fails to obey his every command and /he/ gets sick he's like UHMMM ITS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME AVOIDING THE PATIENT ALTHOUGH IM TOTALLY AVOIDING MY PATIENT
also holy hell his description even of his office. he thinks its relaxing and homey. it sound dark, dirty and gross. smell of cigar smoke by his own admission because he encourages male patients to smoke with him to relax and tell their stories. imagine being like 20something mentally ill anxious and you're just forced into this mancave w a stranger who's like SO WHATS YOUR DEAL. this was always going to go badly, jackson makes very clear. but now elizabeth has escaped containment and run away from home :o where will she go what will she do. probably, buy some clothing that isn't picked out by her aunt. that is my guess. a tiny gasp of individuality.
still riding the high of being told i have the best organized pokemon card binder/boxes of all the convention vendors selling them. especially when lots are like, full on shops!!! like brick & mortor stores!! and i didn't even do anything special, i just tried to keep them together by type and ev lines for my /own/ organizational needs. cmon fake geek boys, step up your game. get your types together. lmfao
mirrors for the scooter came, but figure i'll get things dropped off at the post office without them. it's not a very active road and i walked it without mirrors many times. so i really should get to packing stuff for folks.
later
thamnk u pokemon
Aug. 23rd, 2025 07:34 pmnot_funthank u saint bulbasaur, we made table money and then some!!! many gently used beloved plush and some random bits of gently used pokemon fashion and lots of cards saved the day. i did sell a few zines and stickers n such, but as friends who stopped by noticed, orig art struggles there are very few folks doin it
comic cons i guess!!! lots of kids this year tho, countering the very male hetero vibe of last years con in the sporting complex??? and some real good cosplay, etc etc. i think the new location is much better.
tho, we were one of the very few masking up,,, but someone gave our room a sign that said Cool People Room so it is officially cool to do. it was before but like, it always is now in huge groups of random humans many of whom are coughing
alphs sister is coming to visit tomorrow!!! exciting. i feel like i should clean the bathroom asap.
ren was very distressed that i loaded the car with things and disappeared and alph came back for a few hours to decompress without me. VERY. grandma does NOT LIKE when her human might go away overnight. do not LEAVE my human somewhere!!! she says.
i started reading uhm the bird's nest by shirley jackson last night and tho im never a huge fan of the Sybil phenom, having read both sybil and sybil exposed, jackson is MAKING it positively terrifying and chilling. the office with no wall. but why. she goes there all day what do people i guess see her doing in her office missing a wall? missing the wall at her left elbow.
ryx and tenza both came to the con, mvps, i love friend,s, ryx stayed til the end and came home with us to have some celebration pizza and watch some columbo. then some craigslist guy n his kid going off to frosh year of college came by to get a minifridge another friend gave me at one point that i just couldnt find a purpose for and welp now i got some money and kids got a fridgeo yee haw
i want to play final fantasy but also i feel like i might overstimlate on it real quick tonight.
i got a rly cute lil bee plush from my table neighbor and theyve got a patreon and an etsy !!
ok i think my head might explode if i dont do something mindless. and then ideally, sleep. been going thru the acephale archives on random bc slow burn horror read by the author is great and has nothing to do with regular nightmares i will not hear of it
on my third caffeine of the evening
hey, it helps get up early when u gotta clean the bathroom for your siblinlaw just so theyre not GROSSED out i mean, its tiny and mildewy what can u do, but ur best,,
later
comic cons i guess!!! lots of kids this year tho, countering the very male hetero vibe of last years con in the sporting complex??? and some real good cosplay, etc etc. i think the new location is much better.
tho, we were one of the very few masking up,,, but someone gave our room a sign that said Cool People Room so it is officially cool to do. it was before but like, it always is now in huge groups of random humans many of whom are coughing
alphs sister is coming to visit tomorrow!!! exciting. i feel like i should clean the bathroom asap.
ren was very distressed that i loaded the car with things and disappeared and alph came back for a few hours to decompress without me. VERY. grandma does NOT LIKE when her human might go away overnight. do not LEAVE my human somewhere!!! she says.
i started reading uhm the bird's nest by shirley jackson last night and tho im never a huge fan of the Sybil phenom, having read both sybil and sybil exposed, jackson is MAKING it positively terrifying and chilling. the office with no wall. but why. she goes there all day what do people i guess see her doing in her office missing a wall? missing the wall at her left elbow.
ryx and tenza both came to the con, mvps, i love friend,s, ryx stayed til the end and came home with us to have some celebration pizza and watch some columbo. then some craigslist guy n his kid going off to frosh year of college came by to get a minifridge another friend gave me at one point that i just couldnt find a purpose for and welp now i got some money and kids got a fridgeo yee haw
i want to play final fantasy but also i feel like i might overstimlate on it real quick tonight.
i got a rly cute lil bee plush from my table neighbor and theyve got a patreon and an etsy !!
ok i think my head might explode if i dont do something mindless. and then ideally, sleep. been going thru the acephale archives on random bc slow burn horror read by the author is great and has nothing to do with regular nightmares i will not hear of it
on my third caffeine of the evening
hey, it helps get up early when u gotta clean the bathroom for your siblinlaw just so theyre not GROSSED out i mean, its tiny and mildewy what can u do, but ur best,,
later
here we goooo
Aug. 22nd, 2025 07:17 pmnot_funthe night before a con!!!!!!! always pure anxiety. its not even far from home!! car is packed already, clothes laid out
and im just VIBRATING worried itll go poorly lmfao
as mentioned prior im really leaning into pokemon this year, selling holos and cards and gently used plush and a few gacha collections at my table along with my own pokemony fanart stuff
i really hope to make table money >.> aggadsfsdf
oh well whatever
first thing today i mean FIRST THING i crawled up into our 200yo attic and was like ITS HAPPENING LETS DO INSULATION. and alph somehow went along with my madness so it was done by like 10.30. its a very small and very cobwebby space up there so only i could be the one to actually lay it out on the joists over the old insulation crisscross style. it was gross sweaty work and i jumped immediately into the shower after. alph went immediately back to bed. ren joined him
so in an effort to keep my mind from convention anxiety, i settled in to finish the immortal life of henrietta lacks (and if i was a millionare, baby, i know a family id be cuttin a check to) and audrey came out to cuddle up purring with me while i did. i think she's finally eating enough medication to not be at a 10 of anxiety all the time
just like a 8 or 7. i feel u girl
ren had her solencia (arthritis shot) visit with the vet at 2, was very good, got treats when she came home and got spoiled.
i've been introducing alph to columbo and we watched a few eps this evening. i think not only is it lasting because peter falk is just /extremely likeable/ but because its got a 'home sick from school tv reruns' vibe to a 90s kid that is comforting. lots of 60s celebs, lots of 60s aesthetic. and thats usually what networks were rerunning in our youth. then there's also just the very well crafted murder mystery on top, and ocassionally some tv celebrity you recognize from some other thing (or not...faceblind as i am i didnt realize shatner was shatner til he started talking like shatner) so it's just kind of a fun chill way to pass time. i like to put it on in the background while i work, but it came highly reccomended by many friends.
is it copaganda? oh god yeah, but i dont think it was ever really written /to be/ a saving face for the LAPD. i think just. peter falk is that likeable, the tv murder mystery is that fun. so you accept the price of admission being this is a fantasy universe where shlumpy chill little guys like columbo are who make up the pd and they're going around trying to catch cruel greedy rich folks who hurt with impunity. the fantasy that in some world a super clever super friendly super kind honest /policeman/ could actually /help you/ when a rich person wants to get away with something horrible. heh and to think they called dragon fantasy fiction childish when i was younger
aaanyway
ren's sleepy, it's 8pm, i should see if i can sneak a few more hours with audrey. maybe start some shirley jackson.
by 5pm tomorrow the con will be all done and i get to decide if another year is worth it. never know til you try
later
and im just VIBRATING worried itll go poorly lmfao
as mentioned prior im really leaning into pokemon this year, selling holos and cards and gently used plush and a few gacha collections at my table along with my own pokemony fanart stuff
i really hope to make table money >.> aggadsfsdf
oh well whatever
first thing today i mean FIRST THING i crawled up into our 200yo attic and was like ITS HAPPENING LETS DO INSULATION. and alph somehow went along with my madness so it was done by like 10.30. its a very small and very cobwebby space up there so only i could be the one to actually lay it out on the joists over the old insulation crisscross style. it was gross sweaty work and i jumped immediately into the shower after. alph went immediately back to bed. ren joined him
so in an effort to keep my mind from convention anxiety, i settled in to finish the immortal life of henrietta lacks (and if i was a millionare, baby, i know a family id be cuttin a check to) and audrey came out to cuddle up purring with me while i did. i think she's finally eating enough medication to not be at a 10 of anxiety all the time
just like a 8 or 7. i feel u girl
ren had her solencia (arthritis shot) visit with the vet at 2, was very good, got treats when she came home and got spoiled.
i've been introducing alph to columbo and we watched a few eps this evening. i think not only is it lasting because peter falk is just /extremely likeable/ but because its got a 'home sick from school tv reruns' vibe to a 90s kid that is comforting. lots of 60s celebs, lots of 60s aesthetic. and thats usually what networks were rerunning in our youth. then there's also just the very well crafted murder mystery on top, and ocassionally some tv celebrity you recognize from some other thing (or not...faceblind as i am i didnt realize shatner was shatner til he started talking like shatner) so it's just kind of a fun chill way to pass time. i like to put it on in the background while i work, but it came highly reccomended by many friends.
is it copaganda? oh god yeah, but i dont think it was ever really written /to be/ a saving face for the LAPD. i think just. peter falk is that likeable, the tv murder mystery is that fun. so you accept the price of admission being this is a fantasy universe where shlumpy chill little guys like columbo are who make up the pd and they're going around trying to catch cruel greedy rich folks who hurt with impunity. the fantasy that in some world a super clever super friendly super kind honest /policeman/ could actually /help you/ when a rich person wants to get away with something horrible. heh and to think they called dragon fantasy fiction childish when i was younger
aaanyway
ren's sleepy, it's 8pm, i should see if i can sneak a few more hours with audrey. maybe start some shirley jackson.
by 5pm tomorrow the con will be all done and i get to decide if another year is worth it. never know til you try
later
forlorn meow
Aug. 21st, 2025 01:40 pmnot_funi think audrey's anti anxiety meds may finally be having a small effect. that, or she's just really REALLY happy that it's cooled off and rained a little. i mean, same. but i wish i could soothe the spirit of this nervous little kitty.
got out to the woods asap today because i wanted to see how it felt following a day and night of gentle but mostly consistant rainfall. we're still obviously in drought, but the moss was just LUSH. the air smelled great, kind of like a cup of tea? that dry leafy smell that's just come warm and moist. the ground is still really dry so i didn't see any tracks but my own and one deer print. think that's the second deer print this summer, meaning they must still be around, but they're really not as active as they were last year. maybe its' the time of year, or the drought, or the EPA work done downstream that's made them cautious to return as a herd.
but what was out in force today was one of my fav animals, the red efts! tiny little orange salamanders all over the abandoned traintracks, just one every 5 feet. it's been years since i got to see them in the wild. i've also always read they're most active after a rainfall but have never seen it. but they sure were busy today. probably hunting, i'd think? i thought about carrying one or two home for the terrarium, but because i'd also just been wrestling with myself about spending money on coffee and decided not to, i also decided i probably don't have the spare funds just right now to buy a jar of flightless fruit flies to keep them fed. so, alas. but i got to see them all crawling around outside which was still very exciting and very nice.
i only really heard crickets singing today, the birds seem like they're more afield right now forraging. a neighborhood bird feeder was being swarmed with goldfinches, and a cardinal was hanging out in the giant wild rosebush near my house.
i was super sore yesterday, though not entirely sure why. i guess cumulative workouts and the wet weather preventing a walk that day? i've been wearing weights on my arms when i go out there cuz why not. but damn my back ached when i lay down to sleep.
emailing doctors, running laundry, trying to get some art done. paying monthly bills as quickly as i can. i am about as ready for PCCC as i'm gonna be at this point. i sure hope this year i can make table money back though!!
should really try to cut back on my caffeine intake, but it seems like my only hope making it to 5pm working most days now x.x
and gotta do grocery shopping tonight too,, yeesh
later
got out to the woods asap today because i wanted to see how it felt following a day and night of gentle but mostly consistant rainfall. we're still obviously in drought, but the moss was just LUSH. the air smelled great, kind of like a cup of tea? that dry leafy smell that's just come warm and moist. the ground is still really dry so i didn't see any tracks but my own and one deer print. think that's the second deer print this summer, meaning they must still be around, but they're really not as active as they were last year. maybe its' the time of year, or the drought, or the EPA work done downstream that's made them cautious to return as a herd.
but what was out in force today was one of my fav animals, the red efts! tiny little orange salamanders all over the abandoned traintracks, just one every 5 feet. it's been years since i got to see them in the wild. i've also always read they're most active after a rainfall but have never seen it. but they sure were busy today. probably hunting, i'd think? i thought about carrying one or two home for the terrarium, but because i'd also just been wrestling with myself about spending money on coffee and decided not to, i also decided i probably don't have the spare funds just right now to buy a jar of flightless fruit flies to keep them fed. so, alas. but i got to see them all crawling around outside which was still very exciting and very nice.
i only really heard crickets singing today, the birds seem like they're more afield right now forraging. a neighborhood bird feeder was being swarmed with goldfinches, and a cardinal was hanging out in the giant wild rosebush near my house.
i was super sore yesterday, though not entirely sure why. i guess cumulative workouts and the wet weather preventing a walk that day? i've been wearing weights on my arms when i go out there cuz why not. but damn my back ached when i lay down to sleep.
emailing doctors, running laundry, trying to get some art done. paying monthly bills as quickly as i can. i am about as ready for PCCC as i'm gonna be at this point. i sure hope this year i can make table money back though!!
should really try to cut back on my caffeine intake, but it seems like my only hope making it to 5pm working most days now x.x
and gotta do grocery shopping tonight too,, yeesh
later
sploops
Aug. 20th, 2025 12:10 pmnot_funwoops i didnt write yesterday's entry
but to be fair i was kind of sick of doing things after i took a spill riding my scooter thru a 4way intersection after a bunch of aggro SUVs kept trying to push me off the road. i broke off my mirror on the left side, which is the side that shows me the street behind me. so i was pretty mad. all i wanted to do was get some art supplies!! oh well
other than that yesterday had been real good? i finally saw the beavers!!! at a huge distance, but they were out either working or playing hard by the dam. i can't see where the lodge is from the trail, just the dam, so it's exciting that i finally caught sight of them. i got a video but it's so far away all you see is some splashes in the water. it having been such a drought season, i really am glad we have them. they're much much more on point and in tune with what to do to keep their habitat safe than we humans is. if they need to build the dam up or tear the dam down, they will do it. and they will do it a lot faster than humans will too lmao its kind of their special interest
finally got some rest the other night. finally talked to my dad, too, tho we're discovering that after about an hour (or after 11am my time?) the phone just starts to crap out. i dunno if it's my end or his, we're both using wifi calling. but i can be standing in a spot that moments ago gave a clear signal and he'll only hear EP AOP OP EEHRT as i break up. not my fav.
it is finally, finally, finally raining. audrey has a lot to say about this but it doesn't sound like cheerful meows. i am so sorry little onion, your life is difficult and you just want a cat friend.
PCCC drawing ever near. i need to make the promotional graphics and the lil map that shows wher ei am and crap. hopefully going to see some familiar faces and make some new friends there. even more hopeful that this year i'll make back table money >.> turns out some comic cons are super not into original uh...comics. theyre more like a marvel/DC fandom event. imagine only reading corpo media in this day and age smh
work calls
but to be fair i was kind of sick of doing things after i took a spill riding my scooter thru a 4way intersection after a bunch of aggro SUVs kept trying to push me off the road. i broke off my mirror on the left side, which is the side that shows me the street behind me. so i was pretty mad. all i wanted to do was get some art supplies!! oh well
other than that yesterday had been real good? i finally saw the beavers!!! at a huge distance, but they were out either working or playing hard by the dam. i can't see where the lodge is from the trail, just the dam, so it's exciting that i finally caught sight of them. i got a video but it's so far away all you see is some splashes in the water. it having been such a drought season, i really am glad we have them. they're much much more on point and in tune with what to do to keep their habitat safe than we humans is. if they need to build the dam up or tear the dam down, they will do it. and they will do it a lot faster than humans will too lmao its kind of their special interest
finally got some rest the other night. finally talked to my dad, too, tho we're discovering that after about an hour (or after 11am my time?) the phone just starts to crap out. i dunno if it's my end or his, we're both using wifi calling. but i can be standing in a spot that moments ago gave a clear signal and he'll only hear EP AOP OP EEHRT as i break up. not my fav.
it is finally, finally, finally raining. audrey has a lot to say about this but it doesn't sound like cheerful meows. i am so sorry little onion, your life is difficult and you just want a cat friend.
PCCC drawing ever near. i need to make the promotional graphics and the lil map that shows wher ei am and crap. hopefully going to see some familiar faces and make some new friends there. even more hopeful that this year i'll make back table money >.> turns out some comic cons are super not into original uh...comics. theyre more like a marvel/DC fandom event. imagine only reading corpo media in this day and age smh
work calls
go go power rangers
Aug. 18th, 2025 04:58 pmnot_funi guess i didnt see it before i wrote yesterdays entry but the White Ranger and the Pink Ranger were just driving down the street on a motorcyle. alph was like oh wow i didnt know the pink n white ranger hooked up lmfao thats pretty awesome tho just cosplaying and riding your bike. really brightened up my day
and like i said i was tired, i fell asleep aroudn like 6?? just out
not doing a whole lot less tired today, but because its a whole ten degrees farenheit cooler than it has been i was Determined to go Outside. watering the plants is one thing, i wanted to drag some logs towards the garden and go for a walk in the woods. which i did. i saw a great blue heron, a few toads, and a kid on a dirtbike.
but because i was tired, i turned back before the beaver pond u.u
trying to multitask best i can - cleaning my costume for plastic city comic con and taking photos for sticker club and whatnot. but - tired. v tired man. so tired, is the man.
i still need to make a price sheet for the con!!! if for nobody elses reference, alphs,,,
i mean i cant just sit at a table the whole time in costume can i??? sheesh
audrey naughty today. luna spicy, starting fights she cant finish with everyone and yelling her head off. letting her have catio and some supervised time on the back deck mellowed her out. its hard to be a kitty.
ren especially acts so elderly... not super steady on her paws all the time and content to wash herself and curl up between meals and snuggle and purr all night. but she did want to come to the back deck, which surprised me. lately she's just blinked at the sun like ughhh and gone right back inside with no interest in the forest smells or plants or bugs. she was a little more alert today. i guess she has good days and bad days, like any elderly being. i annoy her with constant smooches.
havent heard from my prison penpal in a while and i'm worried they're scraping all email. keep meaning to write a physical letter and then having no energy boo hiss
listened to kids see ghosts earlier and the first few tracks reminded me of disco elysium for some reason? ?? obviously mr west was on there like bluh guy pls go back to therapy but it was still really good music, and its not like i paid kanye for it. i really liked "4th dimension"
alph is home, mail route hard, tired life. tired, tired life.
i think i lost my plastic jakks glameow figure ... oh well not like itll be that hard to replace eventually
need to finish this iced tea and drink like a lot more water and see if theres any energy left for drawing. gotta try
and like i said i was tired, i fell asleep aroudn like 6?? just out
not doing a whole lot less tired today, but because its a whole ten degrees farenheit cooler than it has been i was Determined to go Outside. watering the plants is one thing, i wanted to drag some logs towards the garden and go for a walk in the woods. which i did. i saw a great blue heron, a few toads, and a kid on a dirtbike.
but because i was tired, i turned back before the beaver pond u.u
trying to multitask best i can - cleaning my costume for plastic city comic con and taking photos for sticker club and whatnot. but - tired. v tired man. so tired, is the man.
i still need to make a price sheet for the con!!! if for nobody elses reference, alphs,,,
i mean i cant just sit at a table the whole time in costume can i??? sheesh
audrey naughty today. luna spicy, starting fights she cant finish with everyone and yelling her head off. letting her have catio and some supervised time on the back deck mellowed her out. its hard to be a kitty.
ren especially acts so elderly... not super steady on her paws all the time and content to wash herself and curl up between meals and snuggle and purr all night. but she did want to come to the back deck, which surprised me. lately she's just blinked at the sun like ughhh and gone right back inside with no interest in the forest smells or plants or bugs. she was a little more alert today. i guess she has good days and bad days, like any elderly being. i annoy her with constant smooches.
havent heard from my prison penpal in a while and i'm worried they're scraping all email. keep meaning to write a physical letter and then having no energy boo hiss
listened to kids see ghosts earlier and the first few tracks reminded me of disco elysium for some reason? ?? obviously mr west was on there like bluh guy pls go back to therapy but it was still really good music, and its not like i paid kanye for it. i really liked "4th dimension"
alph is home, mail route hard, tired life. tired, tired life.
i think i lost my plastic jakks glameow figure ... oh well not like itll be that hard to replace eventually
need to finish this iced tea and drink like a lot more water and see if theres any energy left for drawing. gotta try
review
Aug. 17th, 2025 03:27 pmnot_funi really enjoy it when i'm reading a webcomic (which is released generally in a slow format) and something happens that makes me go back and reread several pages to make it fall into place. bonus if it's something i sort of had a hunch was going on but then dropped because of the execution seeming like i was wrong but then turns out i was right. that's the latest update in Godslayers for me. which if you ask me to give you an elevator pitch about, it's a bunch of furries living in a postapoc garbage dump and being kind of crass with one another. all except for max, who single handedly contains all the sunshine of the entire rotted out furry city in his tiny cat-fennec body. mvp max.
picked up the gay dragons zines for woopride, and now i'm pretty broke until the stream money deposits on monday. could be worse. but also i'm really hungry and final fantasy has me wanting tacos.
had some kind of stress nightmare ...i think involving traversing a museum or city of death art and then a train? not that horrible as they go, but i think there was something about needing the right combination or lesson learned or some crap in order to re-enter life and not just be stuck endlessly experiencing the death exhibit and riding the death train or whatever.
this coming week it's finally supposed to cool off, maybe i'll get a chance to get garden work done.
absolutely burnt out on art yesterday. streaming usually does that. tried a few sketches after and just no juice. trying to just give myself a rest today on that front.
can not wait to be able to take a walk in the woods without risking heat stroke. absolutely a balm on my mental health. retail therapy has nothing on walking in the woods listening to the forest. not a ding dang dong damn thing.
ugh hungry tho
later
picked up the gay dragons zines for woopride, and now i'm pretty broke until the stream money deposits on monday. could be worse. but also i'm really hungry and final fantasy has me wanting tacos.
had some kind of stress nightmare ...i think involving traversing a museum or city of death art and then a train? not that horrible as they go, but i think there was something about needing the right combination or lesson learned or some crap in order to re-enter life and not just be stuck endlessly experiencing the death exhibit and riding the death train or whatever.
this coming week it's finally supposed to cool off, maybe i'll get a chance to get garden work done.
absolutely burnt out on art yesterday. streaming usually does that. tried a few sketches after and just no juice. trying to just give myself a rest today on that front.
can not wait to be able to take a walk in the woods without risking heat stroke. absolutely a balm on my mental health. retail therapy has nothing on walking in the woods listening to the forest. not a ding dang dong damn thing.
ugh hungry tho
later
stone by day
Aug. 16th, 2025 05:53 pmnot_funstill keyed to maximum stress right now, which is pretty normal for being trapped 5 hrs in front of a screen without real breaks
after discovering you sat in cat pee
after having a night of nightmares where everyones asking why you didnt do your homework this week and you keep explaining well my father was in the hospital and they go i really dont care and i dont want to hear it no excuses wheres your homework
blughgggh
i moved my little iron yard ornaments of hedgehogs (like, sillouettes on stakes) to the sawed stump. the soft rot in the center meant i could cluster them all around it like they're up there having a hedgehog meeting. the smell of it was incredible because there's some intense humidity right now and a real desire from the sky to let loose and rain - but it hasn't happened yet. it was the smell of undiluted and fresh wood rot turned to dirt, mixed with the dry sawdust smell of when it was cut. clean, soft to the touch crumbling dirt has its own sweet scent. mixing together was really wonderful. highlight of my day tbqh
also wired headphones arrived so i can adjust the volume on the mp3 player via the mp3 player when listening in bed or whatever yayyyy
no ttrpg tonight, GM's either busy or recovering from the doctor and i forget which. i'm going to take the chance and seize on a few hours fucking around playing final fantasy. though i should undoubtly do some stretches and such first. like i said. tethered to a chair for five hours.
i have been poking at some new podcasts, though there's really a derth of good new stuff right now. i think i mentioned land's end - a story abt a shepard with a mutating flock. i also liked dead arcology, a post-apoc scifi told from several points of view. there's a lot on dead arcology still to be explained and uncovered and i like that. i'm interested in the hexings too, but the sound mixing (especially for the censorship beep) really needs some help. it is way, way too loud. and used very regularly. which makes for a disruptive and kinda annoying listen in parts especially at night. theres a few other i'm meh on that i found but i guess if they begin to wow me i'll write them up.
pop got his oxygen setup at home, and i didn't have a chance to take the scooter out today. i mean shit i didnt even have a chance until about ten minutes ago to wash the piss laundry. streaming day is kind of do literally nothing else and pray you make over min wage while youre at it. but i do absolutely feel i get treated more humanely when it's pencils pens and paper.
tired, should eat, being heckled by a goblin to pull out a cat bed for her.
later
after discovering you sat in cat pee
after having a night of nightmares where everyones asking why you didnt do your homework this week and you keep explaining well my father was in the hospital and they go i really dont care and i dont want to hear it no excuses wheres your homework
blughgggh
i moved my little iron yard ornaments of hedgehogs (like, sillouettes on stakes) to the sawed stump. the soft rot in the center meant i could cluster them all around it like they're up there having a hedgehog meeting. the smell of it was incredible because there's some intense humidity right now and a real desire from the sky to let loose and rain - but it hasn't happened yet. it was the smell of undiluted and fresh wood rot turned to dirt, mixed with the dry sawdust smell of when it was cut. clean, soft to the touch crumbling dirt has its own sweet scent. mixing together was really wonderful. highlight of my day tbqh
also wired headphones arrived so i can adjust the volume on the mp3 player via the mp3 player when listening in bed or whatever yayyyy
no ttrpg tonight, GM's either busy or recovering from the doctor and i forget which. i'm going to take the chance and seize on a few hours fucking around playing final fantasy. though i should undoubtly do some stretches and such first. like i said. tethered to a chair for five hours.
i have been poking at some new podcasts, though there's really a derth of good new stuff right now. i think i mentioned land's end - a story abt a shepard with a mutating flock. i also liked dead arcology, a post-apoc scifi told from several points of view. there's a lot on dead arcology still to be explained and uncovered and i like that. i'm interested in the hexings too, but the sound mixing (especially for the censorship beep) really needs some help. it is way, way too loud. and used very regularly. which makes for a disruptive and kinda annoying listen in parts especially at night. theres a few other i'm meh on that i found but i guess if they begin to wow me i'll write them up.
pop got his oxygen setup at home, and i didn't have a chance to take the scooter out today. i mean shit i didnt even have a chance until about ten minutes ago to wash the piss laundry. streaming day is kind of do literally nothing else and pray you make over min wage while youre at it. but i do absolutely feel i get treated more humanely when it's pencils pens and paper.
tired, should eat, being heckled by a goblin to pull out a cat bed for her.
later
ggsdgfgsd
Aug. 15th, 2025 06:51 pmnot_funwhy is the arborist not picking up the phone to get money from me for his workers
why is the scooter still randomly idling at full throttle
why did it take a fucking half hour of getting misgendered to get off the phone with the bank when i realized i just accidentally transfered the wrong amount of zeros to cover a purchase and they WOULDNT LISTEN TO ME SAY THAT and thEN TRIED TO TELL ME T HAT and IF I DIDNT NEED LIKE FOUR SCREENS BECAUSE BANKS DONT EVEN WORK ON DESKTOP ANYMORE MAYBE WE WOULDNT BE IN THIS MESS WOULD WE FUCK my life oh my god
i am trying to paint whatever
its becoming really apparent that if i have to write a full on entry every day even when i dont feel like it im just going to wind up screaming and screaming and screaming some days huh
feel like trash, read a whole bunch of the immortal life of henrietta lacks instead of being productive. medicated cats. pushed an order through for something to show off at woo pride to compliment the dragons.
tomorrow is streaming which is not a low stress endeavor but the income is needed in a dire way so here we go why not
i despise the grind
why is the scooter still randomly idling at full throttle
why did it take a fucking half hour of getting misgendered to get off the phone with the bank when i realized i just accidentally transfered the wrong amount of zeros to cover a purchase and they WOULDNT LISTEN TO ME SAY THAT and thEN TRIED TO TELL ME T HAT and IF I DIDNT NEED LIKE FOUR SCREENS BECAUSE BANKS DONT EVEN WORK ON DESKTOP ANYMORE MAYBE WE WOULDNT BE IN THIS MESS WOULD WE FUCK my life oh my god
i am trying to paint whatever
its becoming really apparent that if i have to write a full on entry every day even when i dont feel like it im just going to wind up screaming and screaming and screaming some days huh
feel like trash, read a whole bunch of the immortal life of henrietta lacks instead of being productive. medicated cats. pushed an order through for something to show off at woo pride to compliment the dragons.
tomorrow is streaming which is not a low stress endeavor but the income is needed in a dire way so here we go why not
i despise the grind